There are about four or five subcategories to my patriarchal blessing. Everything in that blessing fits into one of them and each of them seems to be literally embedded in my life. the need for charity in particular.
Joseph had charity for his brethren. In a previous post I took the soft handed approach to their behavior, but now I see something else by looking at the other side. Without excusing their actions in the slightest we have a group of fratricidal brothers who are so caught up in their selves that they are promiscuous, violent, envious and cold hearted. They sold their own brother into slavery and lied to their father to cover their hideous crime. There is no excuse for it, they were wicked, wicked men by every definition and I doubt even Hollywood could repaint the picture favorably without omitting crucial facts and evidences.
What is bothering me is the fact that Joseph still forgave them and I am supposed to do likewise to all. He must thought long and hard about it and he had plenty of time to do so in the jail of Pharaoh and his years of servitude both with Potiphar and Pharaoh. When he reencounters them he keeps leaving to cry. That's how we know the whole imprisonment thing wasn't a revenge tactic. He loved them.
Now I know that if my little brother were to go off the deep end and do horrible things I would still love him. If he did them to me or my wife and children I would be angry, but in the end still find tenderness inside me towards him. That's just how family works. It would take completely sinful behavior on his part and my own abandonment of the gospel to ever hate him.
But what of others? There is no pure love for them in my heart. I don't mean that I want to walk around hurting people, but I can't seem to muster up feelings of love for anyone outside of my genealogy. I want so badly to fulfill the Lord's command to love and serve others, but I lack the first part so deeply that I can't climb out of it to do the second.
And here's a real humdinger of a catch-22 for you, I am so in love with the gospel and its teachings that I see the mistakes of myself and others more clearly than ever. They practically flash neon-signs in my head. Seeing sin is hard because I hate it with a similar passion as I love the gospel. I have seen enough of it to know exactly what it can do and usually is doing to people. It tears apart their lives and ruins hope and peace, but to combat it you need more than 12 dozen references to scriptures and general authorities. You need love; which, as discussed earlier, I am lacking.
I wish I had some sort of magical cure-all for this dilemma. Both the love of the scriptures and the need for charity are spoken of in my blessing and it seems that I am missing the key to using them. As the scriptures indicate we have to be given charity. It requires prayer and hope and a divine bestowal from God. And I cannot truly do anything worthwhile without it. My words are as a tinkling cymbal and just white noise without the love that is required to convey them to the hearts of others.
I feel so empty and hopeless in this endeavor. I am inspired more and more to read and learn the scriptures, but with charity I am unable to do anything more than harrow up in my mind the lack I have of it. I hope, I pray that I might be filled with it for I yearn to possess it and desire to actually be of service to my fellow men and not just a walking LDS reference library by the time I die.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a5/Cairo,_Gizeh,_Sphinx_and_Pyramid_of_Khufu,_Egypt,_Oct_2004.jpg
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Evil Report
So in my studying yesterday I stumbled across a verse I had payed little attention to other than for its usefulness in chronology:
"These are the generations of Jacob. Joseph, being seventeen years old, was feeding the flock with his brethren; and the lad was with the sons of Bilhah, and with the sons of Zilpah, his father’s wives: and Joseph brought unto his father their evil report." (Gen 27:2)
I looked for references and footnotes, but I couldn't locate anything to clear it up. A few verses later I found this entry:
"And his brethren said to him, Shalt thou indeed reign over us? or shalt thou indeed have dominion over us? And they hated him yet the more for his dreams, and for his words." (Gen 37:8).
It struck me that at this point in the chapter he had only relayed one dream and as far as other words we are given none. From the text and the personality of Joseph, it would seem that if this is connected with verse two's "evil report" then maybe like Nephi in the Book of Mormon, Joseph was trying to bring his wayward brothers into the path of righteousness. This would explain their anger a little more since it would make very little sense for a group of brethren to get to the point of fratricide over a coat and two dreams.
Linking it to the example of Laman and Lemuel, however, points to a more sure reasoning as to their hatred towards him. They hated him for his righteousness. He was making good choices and Jacob was rewarding and praising him for it. Then he shared his feelings with his brothers and like Laman and Lemuel they became upset and misunderstood what was intended.
This helps me a lot more with my comprehension of the man Joseph and what happened to him that day when he was 17 years old.
"These are the generations of Jacob. Joseph, being seventeen years old, was feeding the flock with his brethren; and the lad was with the sons of Bilhah, and with the sons of Zilpah, his father’s wives: and Joseph brought unto his father their evil report." (Gen 27:2)
I looked for references and footnotes, but I couldn't locate anything to clear it up. A few verses later I found this entry:
"And his brethren said to him, Shalt thou indeed reign over us? or shalt thou indeed have dominion over us? And they hated him yet the more for his dreams, and for his words." (Gen 37:8).
It struck me that at this point in the chapter he had only relayed one dream and as far as other words we are given none. From the text and the personality of Joseph, it would seem that if this is connected with verse two's "evil report" then maybe like Nephi in the Book of Mormon, Joseph was trying to bring his wayward brothers into the path of righteousness. This would explain their anger a little more since it would make very little sense for a group of brethren to get to the point of fratricide over a coat and two dreams.
Linking it to the example of Laman and Lemuel, however, points to a more sure reasoning as to their hatred towards him. They hated him for his righteousness. He was making good choices and Jacob was rewarding and praising him for it. Then he shared his feelings with his brothers and like Laman and Lemuel they became upset and misunderstood what was intended.
This helps me a lot more with my comprehension of the man Joseph and what happened to him that day when he was 17 years old.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Forgiveness (version 1.0)
One of the most important parts of this study is Joseph's forgiving of his brethren. It was what Lemuel R. Pace used as the catalyst to my studying. This is attempt number one.
When I think of how Joseph spoke about the way his brethren had treated him as the will of the Lord I always think of how crazy that sounds. But today in New Testament I thought of a connection. This is like when Christ on the cross begged the Father to forgive his accusers and executors and said, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do," (Luke 23:29) Did they know what they did? I contend they did not. In his letter to the Corinthians Paul said, "for now we see through a glass, darkly" (1 Cor 13:12) referring to our understanding of charity and others. Without the pure love of Christ we don't see others in the proper context. We only think of self and don't really comprehend the actions and feelings of those around us.
Joseph's brethren were angry and jealous. We know from a letter to the Corinthians that charity "envieth not...seeketh not her own..." (1 Cor 13:4,5) so they didn't have charity and that means they didn't see Joseph in the right light. So their actions were not with full understanding.
What does this mean for us today? Elder Jeffrey R Holland tells us that "true charity, the absolutely pure, perfect love of Christ, has really been known only once in this world - in the form of Christ Himself, the living Son of the living God," (BYU Speeches of the Year, Feb 2000). Therefore we cannot honestly say that anyone has the proper perspective on anyone else. So when others do us harm we must step back and remember to, "forgive them, for they know not what they do."
When I think of how Joseph spoke about the way his brethren had treated him as the will of the Lord I always think of how crazy that sounds. But today in New Testament I thought of a connection. This is like when Christ on the cross begged the Father to forgive his accusers and executors and said, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do," (Luke 23:29) Did they know what they did? I contend they did not. In his letter to the Corinthians Paul said, "for now we see through a glass, darkly" (1 Cor 13:12) referring to our understanding of charity and others. Without the pure love of Christ we don't see others in the proper context. We only think of self and don't really comprehend the actions and feelings of those around us.
Joseph's brethren were angry and jealous. We know from a letter to the Corinthians that charity "envieth not...seeketh not her own..." (1 Cor 13:4,5) so they didn't have charity and that means they didn't see Joseph in the right light. So their actions were not with full understanding.
What does this mean for us today? Elder Jeffrey R Holland tells us that "true charity, the absolutely pure, perfect love of Christ, has really been known only once in this world - in the form of Christ Himself, the living Son of the living God," (BYU Speeches of the Year, Feb 2000). Therefore we cannot honestly say that anyone has the proper perspective on anyone else. So when others do us harm we must step back and remember to, "forgive them, for they know not what they do."
Monday, February 22, 2010
Rising Above Our Trials
I am so tired sometimes. The weight of my responsibilities (small as they may be) falls down on me, almost crushing me at times. It is as if all hell has come against me to keep me from those things that I should be doing. While they do not win any great battles (immorality, murder, etc.), they seem to conquer dozens of the smaller ones.
This is certainly one way Joseph has outclassed me by a mile. That man was unconquerable. He didn't ever quit. He didn't let the devil and his soldiers pin him down. Time after time he was confronted by the temptations of the world (Potiphar's wife, depression in slavery/jail, etc.) and continued in righteousness. We know he did because God continually blessed everything he did.
Every now and then I wish I could talk to him. He seems so untouchable at times and I so weak and foolish. I know he faced comparable trials and has good answers on how to overcome those I face, but I also know that isn't the way of things. Joseph wasn't given a guide through life to stand next to him and walk him through it all. The Lord said "it is not meet that [he] should commanded in all things," (D&C 58:26). No, Joseph was expected to discern and to discover like the rest of us.
I suppose the major difference is how he approached life. He was humble. He recognized that all the good in his life came from God - whether it was the end result of being thrown in a pit or the ability to interpret dreams and so forth. He attached this principle to his very soul and it showed in all he did. Even in the face of Pharaoh, Joseph told him that it was God whose hand was in his dreams.
If we, or more specifically I, were to employ ourselves better at living the gospel to its fullest; remembering all good things come from God; perhaps we would find ourselves a little better off, a little less tired, a little more spiritual and able to handle the trials and tribulations that come our way.
This is certainly one way Joseph has outclassed me by a mile. That man was unconquerable. He didn't ever quit. He didn't let the devil and his soldiers pin him down. Time after time he was confronted by the temptations of the world (Potiphar's wife, depression in slavery/jail, etc.) and continued in righteousness. We know he did because God continually blessed everything he did.
Every now and then I wish I could talk to him. He seems so untouchable at times and I so weak and foolish. I know he faced comparable trials and has good answers on how to overcome those I face, but I also know that isn't the way of things. Joseph wasn't given a guide through life to stand next to him and walk him through it all. The Lord said "it is not meet that [he] should commanded in all things," (D&C 58:26). No, Joseph was expected to discern and to discover like the rest of us.
I suppose the major difference is how he approached life. He was humble. He recognized that all the good in his life came from God - whether it was the end result of being thrown in a pit or the ability to interpret dreams and so forth. He attached this principle to his very soul and it showed in all he did. Even in the face of Pharaoh, Joseph told him that it was God whose hand was in his dreams.
If we, or more specifically I, were to employ ourselves better at living the gospel to its fullest; remembering all good things come from God; perhaps we would find ourselves a little better off, a little less tired, a little more spiritual and able to handle the trials and tribulations that come our way.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Out of Touch - Not out of Place
Sometimes I find my efforts to live the gospel are met with resistance, not only from the world and its colorful views of life, but also from those around me. As a youth I would often force myself into molds I felt better conformed to people around me. I would bend and flex my actions and speech to be more in touch with my peers - inside and out of the church.
A little older and hopefully a little wiser, I look back and wonder what I was thinking. At the time I was sure my standing with friends and fellow classmates was absolutely essential. I had obviously missed something important when learning about the gospel.
Throughout his life, Joseph was an exemplar of living what he believed. When Potiphar's wife accosted him he ran. When the prison guard had him in their possession, he did what he'd always done and followed his religion. What I find amazing is what happened during his formative years.
Some of these brothers had attacked a city and destroyed it using the covenant of circumcision to trick the inhabitants. Another, his eldest brother, had defiled his father's wife Bilhah by sleeping with her. Judah tries to make money off of Joseph's demise at the pit and later reveals more of his character by sleeping with a harlot.
With these examples and "friends" how does Joseph behave? Does he conform to their standards and start what we do so often today - telling dirty jokes, following only that which he felt was needful from the gospel or pretending to be something he wasn't? No. He was true as always. He made a decision to follow the Lord and shared his visions and faith with his family. He did not bend to the whims of slave masters, prison holders, even Pharaoh, when these things conflicted with his belief in God.
We must be firm in our faith. The Lord had great things in store for Joseph and has great things in store for us. We must believe that while we are out of touch with the ways of the world, we are not in the wrong place when we stand with God and do our part to follow his ways. That is where we are supposed to be and only then are we what we are supposed to be - disciples.
A little older and hopefully a little wiser, I look back and wonder what I was thinking. At the time I was sure my standing with friends and fellow classmates was absolutely essential. I had obviously missed something important when learning about the gospel.
Throughout his life, Joseph was an exemplar of living what he believed. When Potiphar's wife accosted him he ran. When the prison guard had him in their possession, he did what he'd always done and followed his religion. What I find amazing is what happened during his formative years.
Joseph was only 17 when he told his brothers and family about his dreams, which we later find to be divinely appointed. He wanted to live the gospel as he understood it. God had spoken something special and beautiful to his soul and he wanted to share it with others. Now lets pause and think about this.
He was 17. He was in his teenage years. He had a peer group of 11 brothers, 10 who were older than he. They were part of the covenant of their grandfather Abraham. They were what equates to being members of our church.Some of these brothers had attacked a city and destroyed it using the covenant of circumcision to trick the inhabitants. Another, his eldest brother, had defiled his father's wife Bilhah by sleeping with her. Judah tries to make money off of Joseph's demise at the pit and later reveals more of his character by sleeping with a harlot.
With these examples and "friends" how does Joseph behave? Does he conform to their standards and start what we do so often today - telling dirty jokes, following only that which he felt was needful from the gospel or pretending to be something he wasn't? No. He was true as always. He made a decision to follow the Lord and shared his visions and faith with his family. He did not bend to the whims of slave masters, prison holders, even Pharaoh, when these things conflicted with his belief in God.
We must be firm in our faith. The Lord had great things in store for Joseph and has great things in store for us. We must believe that while we are out of touch with the ways of the world, we are not in the wrong place when we stand with God and do our part to follow his ways. That is where we are supposed to be and only then are we what we are supposed to be - disciples.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Believing in Personal Revelation
One of life's greatest challenges is to accept and follow personal revelation. For it is so much easier to hear "Pay your tithing," or "Read your scriptures," and then obey. The counsel came from authorities we trust and believe in. But what happens when the source is from within? How do we manage to endure without authoritative reassurance?
Joseph had a set of dreams. By the time he was seventeen years old he had shared them with his family and felt they meant something more than just random thoughts from his daily life. He had felt the Holy Ghost whispering to his mind that these were visions of the future - that he would be a leader and mightier than all in his home. Sadly, his brethren didn't catch the spirit of the dreams and became angry. They sold him into Egypt and told his father he had perished.
Going through trials of my own in regards to revelation I can almost see this young man as he is sold in Egypt as a slave. His confidence is at the breaking point. What had happened? Where was God now? Had he failed in some way and was being punished? These and many more raced through his mind for a season - whether short-lived or not.
At some point Joseph makes a decision; to trust in God. He moves forward and does his best to work hard and stay true to his faith. Over time he gains the trust of his master, Potiphar, who eventually turns care of his entire estate over to Joseph. Surely this must be part of the fulfillment of his dreams; at least he is on his way towards it. Right?
Yet it is not time for that to happen. Potiphar's wife abandons her commitment to her husband and lusts after the hired help. She constantly approaches him until one day she finds a way to fabricate a lie and have him thrown in jail.
Again I can see the pain and anguish. Here he is again, in his early twenties, and has lost what he thought was the path to his promised blessings. He must be wondering Am I sure that was the Lord? Did he really reveal those things to me or am I simply misleading myself?
Whatever went through his head at this point, he overcame doubts and fears to move on with his life. He set himself to work again and gained the confidence of the head guard. All of the prisoners were in his care and the guard never worried because he knew of Joseph's character.
Finally he is put over the care of two important prisoners - at least important to the story. After "a season" of caring for them they both have visions in the night. They approach Joseph with them and he interprets, watching as three days later they are both fulfilled. His final words to the butler must have been echoing in Joseph's ears, "Don't forget me. Tell Pharaoh about me."
He isn't remembered and certainly isn't able to move up and out due to the status of who put him in there. Since Potiphar was a high ranking official in connection to Pharaoh it would take Pharaoh himself in order to have Joseph released. And with the butler's lack of gratitude this takes another two years.
Then the miracle occurred. Pharaoh had his dream. The butler mentions Joseph. Our hero is not only released from the king's prison, but made second only to Pharaoh in all Egypt! He certainly is experiencing the dreams now. He gets married, has children and watches as another revelation, the famine prophecy, comes to fruition. Then it all comes together. Finally after twenty-two years of separation the family of Jacob is reunited and the dreams are fulfilled in their entirety.
It struck me when reflecting that if God saw fit to test Joseph's faith for thirteen straight years and then hold him back for another nine before his faith was completely rewarded, then why should I whine or doubt when God asks me to hold on a little longer. Yes it is hard to believe in something that isn't spoken by the authorized servants of God, but that doesn't matter. When God tells us something is true we must believe. Unless he gives us a timeline we must hold out indefinitely. And if he gives us a timeline we hold out to the last moment of that schedule. Remember that Joseph's great-grandmother gave birth at a hundred years old which was absurd even then. So why should we doubt that the Lord will find a way in his own due time?
If God says it is true, we must stand fast in that knowledge and press on like Joseph. We will all doubt and fear at times. There will be moments like Joseph being thrown in jail and even being forsaken by loved ones during our trials of faith. Yet if we hold on the promises of God are brought to pass and the light we clung to will increase into brilliance and illuminate us forever more.
Joseph had a set of dreams. By the time he was seventeen years old he had shared them with his family and felt they meant something more than just random thoughts from his daily life. He had felt the Holy Ghost whispering to his mind that these were visions of the future - that he would be a leader and mightier than all in his home. Sadly, his brethren didn't catch the spirit of the dreams and became angry. They sold him into Egypt and told his father he had perished.
Going through trials of my own in regards to revelation I can almost see this young man as he is sold in Egypt as a slave. His confidence is at the breaking point. What had happened? Where was God now? Had he failed in some way and was being punished? These and many more raced through his mind for a season - whether short-lived or not.
At some point Joseph makes a decision; to trust in God. He moves forward and does his best to work hard and stay true to his faith. Over time he gains the trust of his master, Potiphar, who eventually turns care of his entire estate over to Joseph. Surely this must be part of the fulfillment of his dreams; at least he is on his way towards it. Right?
Yet it is not time for that to happen. Potiphar's wife abandons her commitment to her husband and lusts after the hired help. She constantly approaches him until one day she finds a way to fabricate a lie and have him thrown in jail.
Again I can see the pain and anguish. Here he is again, in his early twenties, and has lost what he thought was the path to his promised blessings. He must be wondering Am I sure that was the Lord? Did he really reveal those things to me or am I simply misleading myself?
Whatever went through his head at this point, he overcame doubts and fears to move on with his life. He set himself to work again and gained the confidence of the head guard. All of the prisoners were in his care and the guard never worried because he knew of Joseph's character.
Finally he is put over the care of two important prisoners - at least important to the story. After "a season" of caring for them they both have visions in the night. They approach Joseph with them and he interprets, watching as three days later they are both fulfilled. His final words to the butler must have been echoing in Joseph's ears, "Don't forget me. Tell Pharaoh about me."
He isn't remembered and certainly isn't able to move up and out due to the status of who put him in there. Since Potiphar was a high ranking official in connection to Pharaoh it would take Pharaoh himself in order to have Joseph released. And with the butler's lack of gratitude this takes another two years.
Then the miracle occurred. Pharaoh had his dream. The butler mentions Joseph. Our hero is not only released from the king's prison, but made second only to Pharaoh in all Egypt! He certainly is experiencing the dreams now. He gets married, has children and watches as another revelation, the famine prophecy, comes to fruition. Then it all comes together. Finally after twenty-two years of separation the family of Jacob is reunited and the dreams are fulfilled in their entirety.
It struck me when reflecting that if God saw fit to test Joseph's faith for thirteen straight years and then hold him back for another nine before his faith was completely rewarded, then why should I whine or doubt when God asks me to hold on a little longer. Yes it is hard to believe in something that isn't spoken by the authorized servants of God, but that doesn't matter. When God tells us something is true we must believe. Unless he gives us a timeline we must hold out indefinitely. And if he gives us a timeline we hold out to the last moment of that schedule. Remember that Joseph's great-grandmother gave birth at a hundred years old which was absurd even then. So why should we doubt that the Lord will find a way in his own due time?
If God says it is true, we must stand fast in that knowledge and press on like Joseph. We will all doubt and fear at times. There will be moments like Joseph being thrown in jail and even being forsaken by loved ones during our trials of faith. Yet if we hold on the promises of God are brought to pass and the light we clung to will increase into brilliance and illuminate us forever more.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Quite the Endeavor
This one task, to study Joseph, was perhaps the most challenging to understand of any that the patriarch, Brother Pace charged me with back in July of 2002. He blessed me with so many comprehensible and wonderful things that this one seemed almost out of place. How was I to study the life of a man from over 4000 years ago in any sort of detail, especially if his life is for the most part only recorded in the book of Genesis, which in large part uses the language of symbolism both in stories and numbers?
Well, I am beginning to grasp the message and doing more to follow that all important counsel. If God feels I would not only benefit, but become a better person from this endeavor, then I shall do it and do it gratefully. I have turned this into a blog so that I am accountable for pursuing the subject and can get feedback and new ideas from other seekers of truth.
The things I have learned from him already amaze me and I hope to learn more. Joseph in Egypt was one of the greatest men who ever lived and we could all do well to emulate his example.
Well, I am beginning to grasp the message and doing more to follow that all important counsel. If God feels I would not only benefit, but become a better person from this endeavor, then I shall do it and do it gratefully. I have turned this into a blog so that I am accountable for pursuing the subject and can get feedback and new ideas from other seekers of truth.
The things I have learned from him already amaze me and I hope to learn more. Joseph in Egypt was one of the greatest men who ever lived and we could all do well to emulate his example.
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